Twenty Third & Seventh

Clown Paranoia

This is too funny...

from: the Age

Organisers of a British rock festival have been forced to change its circus theme after a ticketholders told them they had a phobia of clowns.

The Bestival event on the Isle of Wight, off England's south coast, in early September was to have encouraged festival-goers to dress up in curly red wigs and oversized shoes.

Last year's Cowboys or Indians theme broke a world record for the biggest fancy dress party when 10,000 people turned up in disguise.

But organisers feared thousands of clowns in one place could spark mass panic in the psychedelic atmosphere of the festival, which is popular with so-called "nouveaux hippies", The Times reported today.

"We have had so many people with clown phobias contact us I am worried everyone might end up hiding in the woods," Rob da Bank, a BBC Radio One disc jockey who will "curate" the show, was quoted as saying.

Fear of clowns - or coulrophobia - has symptoms including shortness of breath, rapid breathing, irregular heartbeat, nausea, sweating and a sense of foreboding, The Times pointed out.

Heavy make-up and bulbous noses, plus negative childhood memories of the supposed funnymen and women, are thought to be the root cause.

Harass a Jock

I should have grown out of finding a destructive application for everything I encounter.  Fortunately, I haven't.

This site is great fun. One can send abusive messages to randomly selected [or targetted if you wish, I don't know one from another] Commonwealth Games competitors.  I just sent a random swimmer a message about what a waste of public money funding elite athletes is.  I expect to be censored but one can only try.

Grab a sick-bag, a thesaurus of expletives and head here.

Don't Ask, Don't Pose for Pornos

This in intriguing, perfect titilation material. 

AP are reporting on a busted gay-porn ring that used models from the Fort Bragg Base.  I suspect that these men may have misunderstood the famous 'don't ask, don't tell' rule.  Being seen sucking on a juicy big dick on the interwebs could be considered telling. 

I can see the spin-off telemovie now, Conduct Unbecuming.

But really, who would ever have thought that a porn site advertising 'real US military' actually featured real US military?  Perhaps I'm a cynical X-er, I would have expected to find a few siliconified, depilated, LA 'out of work actors' poking their members out of army fatigues and feigning butch.

An experiment in typing 'gay military' into google images led to this kind of outcome.  Lots of out of work actors with prominent tanlines waving their reproductive organs about.  Have a look where the 'models wanted' link leads.  These people do not appear to be army to me...   [n.b. XXX site. DEFINITELY not work-safe. Especially if you work for the military.]

Right now, hundreds of thousands of queens will be trolling about the interwebs looking for this site in some kind of naive hope that the military haven't entirely vanished it.  I'm going to wait awhile until someone publishes the collected pictures at another, altogether different, site.  That's the magic of the interwebs.

From AP:

ARMY CHARGES 7 WITH HAVING SEX ON GAY PORN SITE
by: Estes Thompson, The Associated Press

RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) - The Army has recommended that seven 82nd Airborne Division paratroopers be discharged following allegations they engaged in sex acts shown on a gay pornographic Web site.

Three soldiers face courts-martial on charges of sodomy, pandering and engaging in sex acts for money. Four others received nonjudicial punishments, according to a statement released by the military Friday.

The charges do not mention the name of the site, but the division had previously been investigating allegations that soldiers appeared on a gay pornography Web site. A spokesman for the division said the charges were a result of that investigation.

The military-themed Web site did not make any direct reference to the division or Fort Bragg, a sprawling post about 70 miles south of Raleigh.

"As far as we're concerned, it's isolated to the unit, and our investigation determined that these seven individuals were the only ones" involved, said 82nd Airborne spokesman Maj. Thomas Earnhardt.

The charges indicate the soldiers' behavior is "a much more serious matter than just their sexual orientation," said Steve Ralls, a spokesman for Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, a legal group that helps gays and lesbians in the military.

"I'm not going to make excuses for service members who are taking part in sexual conduct for money," said Ralls. "It would be absolutely criminal regardless of whether they were heterosexual or gay."

Earnhardt said the three soldiers charged under military law had been appointed military attorneys, but he said the lawyers would be unavailable for comment on Friday.

The three soldiers who face courts-martial are: Spc. Richard T. Ashley, Pfc. Wesley K. Mitten and Pvt. Kagen B. Mullen. The Army did not release their ages or hometowns, but said all seven paratroopers were members of the 2nd Battalion of the 508th Parachute Infantry Regiment.

An arraignment was scheduled for March 7.

The other four soldiers who received nonjudicial penalties were not identified. Their punishments included reduction to the rank of private, 45 days of restriction to the unit area, 45 days of extra duty and forfeiture of a month's pay.

The registered owner of the Web site's domain name lists an address in Fayetteville, the city that adjoins Fort Bragg. A phone number listed for the registered owner was not in service Friday, and e-mails to the owner have been regularly returned as undeliverable.

The 15,000 paratroopers of the 82nd Airborne are among the Army's most elite soldiers, having volunteered to serve in a unit that trains to deploy anywhere in the world within 18 hours.

The military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy states that "homosexual orientation alone is not a bar to service, but homosexual conduct is incompatible with military service." Service members who violate the policy are removed from the military.

I wanna be Michael Alig...

YESbutNObutYES are reporting on the sale of Michael Alig's prison ID on eBay.  Anybody willing to join a syndicate to buy said document please contact Mme Bedsore.

Michael Alig Mugshot from www.smokinggun.com

Sunday Morning Horror Show- freaks, big cocks and far too much info

It is all but a Sunday Morning ritual at Casa Carrie that we open our off-shore email account and check what has gathered at the email equivalent of a sewage treatment farm. 

Always fun are the 'cupids' sent to me by www.gaydar.com.au an online men's 'dating service'.  We signed up long ago and found it to be be a very inefficient way of obtaining bad sex.  That doesn't stop the system generating a weekly email of 'potential matches' for me. 

I might comment on the pathos here, maybe say something literary like 'The Heart is a Lonely Hunter'.  Reality is better left to speak for itself, every profile tells a story...

'Super Grover' seems suspiciously like a yuppie wannabe to me.  He has one of the most retarded profiles I've ever encountered with lots of html and sufficient bon mots to choke on.  Aside from the fact that he has a partner and doesn't appear to match me in any way at all, this is an interesting idea from cupid.  I rather fancy posing in front of white dahlias in a cheap suit while drinking domestic sparkling wine.

h2om2m is rather more disturbing.  Read closely and the profile says 'frequently travel to south east Asia for sex with underage boys'.  There's a word for this type.  Repulsive.  Again, I'm at a loss as to why the computer system thought that this would appeal.

naughtyboy1978  looks disturbingly like a ferret and has a startlingly inane profile happening.  I'll pass...

surryhills_cock caught me off-guard.  That's all I'm saying!

Maybe cupid will do better next week.

I shouldn't be cruel

But I will!

I just stumbled across a Boy George fan site so retarded that I'm still laughing and it's not on the screen.  I tried to believe that the site is just a wind up but it appears to be for real.

My absolute favourite section is 'A Love Story'. If this woman isn't a psycho stalker in the making she does a good job of impersonating one.  Follow the spooky extract through to A Love Story or the general link to find the index page of what isn't the most well set out of websites...

Well, I fell in love with George from starring at the cover of "Kissing To Be Clever" LP, Culture Club's debut album. This is no joke. I was in a department store with my family and said to my sister, "Wait a minute, let me see how the man looks that sing Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?" I couldn't take my eyes off him. I read so much into that picture. I was right about it all too.

All that starring at covers will send you batty in the end!

Hello and Welcome to my salute to the man we call Boy! Boy George is a world famous pop icon who emerged on the scene in the 80's with his group Culture Club. With his androgynous look and golden voice he danced his way into hearts all over the world with such hits as "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?", "Karma Chameleon", "I'LL Tumble 4 Ya" and "Time" (Clock of The Heart). Culture Club was and still is part of what is called the "British Invasion".

Well, dear, the SECOND Britsh invasion and, I don't wanna cause no trouble, I'm not here to burst your bubble, but BritPop died sometime in the 80s.  From an ecstasy overdose.  Garbage buried the corpse a good twelve years ago and it isn't coming back soon.  Culture Club no longer exist, apart from a brief reunion they haven't existed as a functional unit since, arguably, 1985.  George, meanwhile, seems destined for Rykers or stayng out of the USA forever.

3rd Annual Nigerian email conference.

Registration is via a confidential money transfer
Not to be missed.

Clippings

Some reading to be going on with while Mme Bedsore devotes more time to Hotel Chelsea research and self-maintenance.

Sydney heatwave. Could it be.... climate change?

What if pets made new year resolutions?

The Case for Contamination. NYT on the shrinking globe

Jacko was Wacko as far back as 82.

Wicked just gets stronger. The book musical isn't quite dead!

As recently noted in an article in The Wall Street Journal, vaginal plastic surgery is one of the field's fastest growing sectors

As moviegoers flocked to see the first major film adaptation of C.S. Lewis' popular children's book, "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe", this weekend, its backer, conservative billionaire Philip Anschutz, is on his way to becoming one of the most powerful media moguls in the United States.

We inch closer toward an influenza pandemic any day. The virus hasn't slowed, it is getting better at cross-infecting humans and we have no sure defence. But somebody is profitting...

THE music of Eric Clapton was banned in Iran last week. Broadcasters were ordered to cease playing decadent Western songs and stick to "fine Iranian music". Not content with denying the Holocaust, Israel's right to exist and hoardings featuring David Beckham, Iran's hardline President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has now denied his people the chance to listen to Layla.

Donald Trump Denies Gubernetorial Ambitions.

Jesus is back on TV and this time it's mnore than a bit part in Southpark.

Good News! New year detoxing doesn't work.

All that Glitters is not Gary

A performance artist who is attempting a 60-mile crawl to Canterbury has passed the half-way mark and hopes to arrive in the city late on Friday

An artist claims his challenge to new laws which ban protests near Parliament was a success.

A peace campaigner has been convicted under a new law banning unauthorised protests from taking place within half a mile of Westminster.

Bono- a prat with a mission!

'Jump the shark' jumps- replaced by couch.

Alarming

With the help of Screenhead

We discovered this creepy flash animation online and take it as a matter of confidence that it means something?

And this one scores as the runner up in jaw-dropping daftness, not quite so manic but every bit as fucked up.

Oprah Explains How to Lick an Asshole

And we don't mean Dr Phil.   The Smoking Gun has some fabulous letters of complaint from concerned citizens horrified by Oprah's hardcore action.