Twenty Third & Seventh

george michael is in trouble again. couldn't happen to a more deserving ponce! After all the shit he has given Boy George for being 'too gay' over the years I'd be happy to see his career destroyed.  There is, IMO, absolutely no excuse for public sex of this kind in this day and age.  As Boy so wisely observed-- 'can't he use a computer'?

why do banks take 48 hours to process a payment TO a credit card while they can deduct money instantaneously?

can anybody explain the difference between an incursion and an invasion? if a tank rolled into my neighborhood i think the semantics would become secondary.

we hear reports that visitor rooms at the Chelsea have gone up in price.  a correspondent writes:

they have now gone from $250.00 to $275.00  Man oh man.  They are pricing out all the people
who made that hotel what it was!  Pretty soon the only people staying there will be rich boring tourists or Britney Spears.

and we're inclined to agree.  Negotiate like a New Yorker is my advice, it worked in knocking the price down for us.  Just be prepared for a stark room!

Liza Minnelli playing a whacked-out masturbation therapist is a freaky thought

I am My Own Wife is headed my way in the original production.  This review from the .au press has a major spoiler- be careful.

Still depressed at the idea that CBGBs will be gone forever.  An example of what happens when one becomes a parody of one's self.

Second Life is an overwhelmingly expansive and conceptually dense virtual world allegedly taking the world by storm.  It's worth a look.  I suspect that I'm a bit too old to grasp the paradigm.

Of the 147 million Americans on the Internet, 12 million have blogs.

Oprah not a Lesbian Shock

In shocking news reported at the Sydney Morning Herald, it transpires that Oprah is not a big lesbian. 

Oprah Winfrey and her friend Gayle King want to be clear - they are not gay.

In the August issue of O, the Oprah Magazine, the US talk-show host explains that some people misunderstand her close friendship with King.

"I understand why people think we're gay," she says. "There isn't a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women. So I get why people have to label it - how can you be this close without it being sexual?"

Meanwhile, we're unspeakably shocked to read that ex Savage Garden ponce, Darren Hayes  is a happily gay-marriaged homo.

Last week Darren Hayes, the former Savage Garden frontman, parted ways with his Australian label, Sony BMG. This week he has announced he has married his British boyfriend, Richard Cullen.

Hayes, who wed his university sweetheart, Colby Taylor, in 1995 and separated in 1999, has pirouetted around the question of gaydom for a while.

Sienna-saga.

The prospects of Factory Girl being a major turkey seem greater every day.  We read that the Edie's Screen Test scene is to be reshot.

In some senses, I want this movie to succeed so that my signed and numbered by Billy Name still of Edie being screen tested [pictured] appreciates to reflect it's real significance.

Sienna Sickbag

From The New York Daily News, it's hard to guess what depths of bad taste this film could yet plummet.  At least Sienna isn't rolling around on the grave a la Esther.

Sienna Miller and Jude Law were recently in Santa Barbara, so the on-again couple paid a visit to the nearby grave of Edie Sedgwick, the Warhol muse Miller plays in "Factory Girl." Law filmed his beloved tearfully placing flowers on the tombstone of the It-girl. "The footage was so beautiful, I may run it during the credits," "Factory Girl" director George Hickenlooper tells us …

Fashion makes me puke.

"Fashion is for people who don't have style"- Vivienne Westwood.

From some trash peddling website, this piece of unmitigated nonsense about Sienna and 'the Edie look'. I personally will injure any nongs seen wearing Edie hair who can't answer five basic questions about the woman! 

SHAG Salon offers a bold cut inspired by Sienna Miller’s latest ’do in “Factory Girl.” The movie won’t hit theaters until the end of the summer, but Miller’s style and her portrayal of Andy Warhol’s playmate Edie Sedgwick is already making waves.

“It’s sexy, clean, ’60s mod look - ultra short blond on top with hints of chocolate brown underneath and heavy on the bangs - very ‘Quadrophenia,’ ” said SHAG owner Sandy Poirier.

Cosmetic Surgery Atrocities- Courtney Love

As much as we adore Courtney, she really needs to give over on the surgery while she is still recognisable... 

Skanky Sienna

Our campaign against Sienna continues.  These pictures, found cruising the web late at night, reveal just what a skanky ho she is.  I can't make out what she thinks she is wearing but even I know it's heinously inappropriate for Manhattan.  Indeed, Sienna looks like she should be swapping cigarettes for blowjobs at one of Sydney's less salubrious beaches.

Sienna Miller- NOT Edie Sedgwick

Sienna No Longer 'Muse'. Journalist finds new adjective shock!

I'm utterly stunned.  It became tedious reporting on every incident of Sienna Miller portraying Andy Warhol's muse Edie Sedgick, even I can only push tedium so far.  In this telling, and a shocking development in the field of journalism, a new adjective to describe Edie has been offered.  We now find out Edie was a DOOMED muse.

Just imagine, we'd all be cultural illiterates if it weren't for Sienna.

Approach with caution- high puke factor:

FROM: Pearce has worked on films where the actors realized the director wasn't going to be any help, so they learned to rely on each other. And he says there's nothing wrong with that.

"On the job I've just done, the Warhol movie -- and I don't want to talk too much about it because it's still being put together -- but Sienna Miller is so switched-on that it's remarkable," Pearce says of his co-star, a tabloid staple for her tumultous relationship with Jude Law after he had an affair with his kids' nanny. "I want to say Sienna is remarkable for a [24-year-old] but, really, age is immaterial. She's this beacon of brilliance. Both of us had moments where we felt insecure, but we knew we could look to each other for help."

Macca and Hopalong

Oh, this is too funny.  Heather Mill's personal website, apparently not updated since the shock split.

Lest it disappears, from Ms Mill's lame efforts at self-justification:

A NOTE FROM PAUL

Over the years people have written so much stuff about me.  Some of it is good and some true, but much of it is inaccurate and leads some people to form a distorted view of me and those I love.

Normally I ignore it, telling myself that I can’t answer every single point and that most people know better than to believe it, and prefer to make up their own minds based on what they know to be true.  Sometimes, however, these inaccurate articles affect my family and friends, and it is then that I’m tempted to put the record straight.

One person in particular, that some of the media can be wildly wrong about is my wife Heather, and it hurts me to see her wounded by these scurrilous reports, and not have anyone to put the record straight.  Because of this I thought that it would be a good idea to tell the people who care about us, and believe in what we do, the truth about some of these ridiculous stories, which are made up by people we have never ever met.

Recently articles have appeared which need correcting, so here are my thoughts on a few of the points mentioned in them.

Heather makes me dye my hair……… not true.  It is true that I colour my hair.  Wow, Shock Horror!  I’ve actually been doing this for many years now with varying degrees of success, but it’s my hair, and if you don’t like the result I’m afraid it’s just too bad, but it’s certainly nothing Heather suggested.  I was engaged in this devilish practice years before I met her.  I remember a strange blue dye dripping down my forehead on an Australian tour over ten years ago, but let’s face it, if I want to dye my hair pink, that’s up to me and no one else.  The suggestion that it was Heather’s doing simply isn’t true.

The split between my former publicist Geoff Baker and me has also been attributed to Heather.  The actual truth, which I had been trying to spare him the embarrassment of going public with, was that he had gradually been getting more and more unstable over the past few years.  The last straw came when a group of friends and I went late one night to see the magician David Blaine doing a stunt by the side of the River Thames.  I was keeping out of sight of a small crowd of photographers when to my horror I saw Geoff pointing me out to the paparazzi who then ran towards me in a feeding frenzy.  None of us could understand why he had done this, but it was just another example of his crazy behaviour.  After that I tried to let him down gently but it was my decision alone to let him go as I didn’t want that kind of instability around me.  It was nothing whatsoever to do with Heather.

The awkward subject of the Lennon McCartney credits on our songs was also put down to Heather’s influence over me but this actually originated at the time of the Beatles Anthology in 1997 when I, foolishly perhaps, asked for my name to come in front of John’s on the one song, Yesterday.  The request was turned down and even though I didn’t see why at the time, it’s something that I don’t have a problem with anymore.  But it was plainly before Heather’s time and she therefore couldn’t have had anything to do with it.

The media sometimes suggests a rift between my kids and Heather, but in fact we get on great and anyone who knows our family can see this for themselves.

Heather and I recently decided to appear on the quiz show Celebrity Millionaire.  It was something we had fun doing and incidentally we raised a substantial amount of money for our landmine charity Adopt a Minefield.  It’s an insult to my intelligence to imagine me being coerced into something like that.  In fact, were both fans of the programme and we had a good laugh taking part in it.

Heather is also, according to some of these mischievous writers, supposed to encourage me to ‘go to the opening of an envelope’.  Really ?  Compared to many people we hardly go to anything unless it’s connected with our charity work.  Again, anything we do attend is a joint decision.

Some of the stuff that is written is plain malevolence but some of it is so ridiculous that I have to admit it’s funny.  One rumour is that Heather has made me have plastic surgery.  Now the truth, honest guv’ner, is that I haven’t had any done, but in flicking through a magazine recently I came across someone who appeared to know better!  An LA plastic surgeon had a book out in which he claims I’ve had some work done!  OK, now I know it’s not true, but this guy knows better.  How ?  The proof, he reckons, is that…..wait for it……my ear lobes are too low!…..and, says he, you know how you can tell people have had plastic surgery?……They deny it!!!  At first I felt like entering into a long debate with him about it, but it’s so hilarious that I decided not to bother.

Although some of these articles can be funny, there are others that are plain malicious and you need to be strong not to be hurt by some of the cruel suggestions that flow from these people’s pens.

One of the most shocking recent statements was that “losing her leg was perhaps the best thing that ever happened to Heather as it fed her desire for self publicity”  Imagine losing a leg, and dealing with it as bravely as Heather has done and having to read that on top of it!

She was reported to always be clinging to me, the inference being that she was too possessive.  Never mind the fact that I love her holding my arm, the real truth is that often the surface of a floor or pavement can be dangerous for an amputee to walk on, and a little help from a friend can sometimes be appreciated.  These scurrilous writers can’t be bothered to search for the truth of situations like these.

There are so many other misapprehensions that are spread by certain sections of the media that it is impossible to answer them all.  I only hope that these words of mine help genuine people to get a clearer view of the realities of our lives, and encourage them to think for themselves, and not give credence to words by people who simply don’t care about the truth.

Thanks for listening.

All the Best,

Paul McCartney

A NOTE FROM FIONA [STUMPY'S SISTER]

Over the past five years I have read numerous press articles about my sister Heather. Many of them were hurtful, spiteful, nasty, deeply personal and, above all, untrue; written by journalists who have never met her, haven’t a shred of human kindness, and whose ‘sources’ were various characters claiming to know all about Heather (but failing to mention that the majority are getting paid for their so-called ‘true’ exclusive stories).


I find it almost impossible to put into words for you all just how angry and hurt I am by the treatment Heather has received from so much of the media since she met and fell in love with Paul in 1999. I have been tempted many times to give in and agree to one of the many interview requests I’ve received over the years, just to be able to set the record straight. But I never have because I was certain I would be misrepresented and misquoted, as is so often the case for so many people, particularly when it comes to the British media.

So I kept my mouth shut and tried to rise above it all.

But that has proved easier said than done – especially when they’re attacking your own flesh and blood. Lots of people say to me, “Oh just ignore it Fiona, nobody believes it anyway.” In some ways, this is true; a lot of people are sensible enough to know that most gossip written about celebrities is untrue, speculation or exaggerated, that those articles are tomorrow’s fish and chip paper and deserve to be treated as such.

Certainly, it is easier to ignore the stupid little comments, such as ‘How much cellulite does she have? Did she spend £50 or £500 on a meal?’ and so on. But stop for just one minute and imagine how it would feel to have your family and loved ones sprawled across the front pages; put down by people they’ve never met 'She's a gold digger, a fantasist'; to read lies written by people who were paid to ‘spill the beans’ about a life you are part of and through which they may have passed just briefly; how it feels to know that your friends and family are being door-stepped and harassed by journalists simply because they know you.

I put this to a close friend of mine who was trying to make me feel better and telling me to ignore the press. But then she thought about it for a while and agreed that it would drive her mad too. But it’s not just the media hate campaigns we have to deal with; we also have regular threats of law suits from people who seemingly suddenly feel they have a case for some reason or other and want apologies, damages even, for things that didn’t even happen and so on. Interestingly, their ‘case’ only seems to have come to light since Heather met Paul - although their so-called claims relate to events that go as far back as childhood. All of this takes up a great deal of time – precious time, which is taken away from our charity work.

A recent particularly spiteful article written by one Russell Miller in The Sunday Times magazine described Heather’s losing her leg as “the best thing that ever happened to [her], because it instantly provided what she seemed to crave most: publicity.”

This angered and disgusted me more than I can say - and is simply not something I can rise above. In addition to having her left leg severed below the knee in the accident, Heather suffered a crushed pelvis, broken ribs, a punctured lung – and almost died four times. I was one of the few people who witnessed at first hand the pain my sister went through for months after her accident, never mind numerous other corrective operations over the years. Since then, on numerous occasions, I have seen Heather unable to move for days on end because her residual limb is swollen, angry and sore, or her pelvis has dislocated, physical problems which will never go away. How dare Miller write what he did. He has never met Heather or, indeed, anyone who really knows her. Instead, he regurgitated the same tired old rubbish gleaned from the usual suspects, seemingly trawled through old newspaper cuttings and recycled them. His article was just riddled with inaccuracies and horrible accusations and, as such, was in many ways ridiculous. And why the Editor of The Sunday Times magazine, Robin Morgan, agreed to run such an ill-researched and libellous article in what I had always thought of as a reputable, intelligent newspaper is completely beyond me – and to many other people who know Heather.

The thing is all this stuff is so easy to make up. You know the sort of thing; younger woman marries rich, successful family man – she must be a gold digger, a wicked stepmother, seeking publicity, blah, blah. It’s just so easy to do, and it is such lazy journalism.

So, I feel the time has come to have my say and explain some of the Facts and Fiction. It’s not going to stop those sorts of journalists printing their rubbish, but at least I’ll feel better - and those of you who’d like to read the truth can do so!

We have been overwhelmed with your support over the years and particularly in the last few weeks, for which we are eternally grateful. The reason I chose the website as my forum was that at least this way I can guarantee my words will be printed in full, not taken out of context or edited down. For those of you who are interested, and as someone who has known Heather for 34 years, day-in-day-out, and who manages everything she does on a daily basis, I’d like to set the record straight…

I have also been contacted by a wide selection of people whose lives Heather has touched in many different ways. Here you can read some of their thoughts.– and these are by the people who really do know my sister – and who love, admire and respect her as a result.

Paul is Dead

The sick, sick world of hippies. 

Even though everyone knows that the real Paul died during the Abbey Road sessions, the substitute one continues to make pleas for attention that set a standard way beyond the horrors Of Mull of Kintyre and Band on the Run.

His latest publicity move is to divorce 'stumpy' as he so affectionately called Heather Mills.  Perhaps she got bored by him hiding her prosthesis on shopping day?

We can't help but wonder if there's a connection to this little gem that came up in the scandal sheet of conniseurs, Popbitch. 

Which popstar, egged on by Stella McCartney, "accidentally" stubbed her cigarette out on Heather Mills' wooden foot at her and Macca's wedding?